DAD

Finding a picture of Dad before he was married, or even before he was 30, is a challenge.  I think that I have one, however, and I’ll post it as soon as it turns up.

When I think of Dad, what comes to mind is a pot of beans and weenies flying through the air, students crying on Mom’s shoulder, family dinners from 6:00 to 6:05 PM so he could hurry back to teach, a man who always had a few bucks for me when I was going out, and someone who was very quiet about his past.

He mentioned a few things, like saving pennies in a sock during the Great Depression, and attending his father’s funeral (a man who ran off, leaving Granny alone to raise the family), but nothing really significant.  It was Mom who revealed the shocker to me: Dad was married once before Mom.  He was 19, and the lady’s name was, I believe, Caroline; she was the only child of Aunt Ruth and Uncle Otto.  The tragedy here is that Caroline died in childbirth, so Dad lost both his wife and child at once.  I can’t even imagine.  When I was 19, Dad was footing the bill for me to go to college and learn party planning.  No wonder he didn’t talk much about his youth.  I am sure that there were good times, but between an absent father, the Great Depression, and the loss of his wife and child, I am sure that he often wondered why he remained alive.

I remember once asking Dad why he enlisted in the Army during World War II.  His answer surprised me: “Because I thought it would be fun.”  Somehow, I never thought of him as someone who went out looking for fun.  But, when I think back over the years following his shaky start in life, an attempt to find fun in a war taking place overseas is probably not so odd.

Eventually, I will add more on what I know and remember about Dad’s early life, but I’ll just end this post with a list of other relationships in the family.  If I think of anything interesting about those kinships, I’ll mention them:

• Whose mom or grandma was Grandma Dihlmann?  Aunt Ruth Kaelin’s?
• Granny Mildred had a brother (Uncle Willy) and a sister (Aunt Ruth Poleitis - Sp?).  I have this picture of Granny shuffling from point A to points unknown, and Aunt Ruth swaggering in the opposite direction.  Inevitably, Swagger bumps into Shuffle, and Swagger says, “Mildred, you are always in such a hurry!”
• Aunt Ruth Kaelin had a brother - Uncle Percy.  He lived in New York and came down periodically.  That visit was a big deal.  He was the first person I knew who stirred together all of the food on his plate to eat it because it all went down the same way.  We, the kids, just thought it was gross.
• Dad’s sister was Aunt Al (Albertine Emma Paddock), married to Uncle Joe (Joseph Leonhard - he was proud of the ‘h’ in Leonhard).  Anna and Christy have some interesting memories regarding Aunt Al, and I look forward to finally seeing those in writing.  I know that Aunt Al and Uncle Joe lost one child (at birth?  a miscarriage?), and I suspect that it pretty much ended the physical part of their marriage.  That didn’t become really clear to me until Aunt Al died (from the attempted cure of her lung cancer - smoking), and Uncle Joe met and married Rose.  Clearly, he re-discovered love.

That’s enough for this post.

Comments

[Aunt Anna]

Wow, where to start with this one. Dad to me was quite a character. He was quite the man. I went with him often to weddings and funerals on Saturdays. Everywhere he went, people knew him and stopped him on the street.

I remember lunch at Walgreen's at the counter: hamburger, rootbeer float and fries. We did this occasionally when we were out Loved those days.

I also remember going fishing and Dad baiting my hook and reeling in my catch.

I remember floating in an innertube with my brother next to me. His toppled over and his ditz of a sister thought he was trying to swim. So I kept moving away from him as he was struggling for his life and going under more than once. I remember my Dad on the shore seeing Charlie in the distance go under once, twice and he was off like a flash to save his only son. Dad had bad ears and couldn't go under the water. But this time, he saw no stops. Only that he had to save his son and reprimand his ditzzy daughter. What was I thinking???

I remember Mom saying how much she missed laying her head on that big chest and feeling so secure. That was after Dad died. She was devastated without him.

I remember Dad coming into our room at night and singing "Oh, My Papa" before we went to sleep.

I remember Sunday dinner and Sunday drives. Sunday was family day. I hated those drives as I would get car sick.

I remember one Sunday drive with the three of us in the back seat and Mom and Dad up front. Christy was in the middle. Dad was giving one of his famous lectures about money. I had a handful of change and gave it to Christy. On cue, I had her throw it out the window. The cue was when Dad said "It's like throwing money out of the window." Bingo! Out it went on cue. Dad was not amused... Poor Christy was only about 2 so very easily manipulated.

Granny was one of 8 children: Mildred, Alice. Ruth, Cyril. Help me out here. Who were the other 4? I know there were more boys.

Granny and Aunt Ruth Kaelen (?) used to fight every Christmas and Thanksgiving over the turkey's ass. Mom was hard pressed for solutions so one year she sliced the ass in half so they both had part. It would be a big fight ever year. They would pout like children and the one that didn't get it was always determined to ruin the day. One year Mom almost bought 2 turkeys.

Yes, Dillman was Aunt Ruth's mother. There were also those two daughters: Lilian Clare and Gloria. I'm not sure if they were blood children of the Dillmans or adopted. One became a doctor. She had that withered arm. The other was quite the diva. Two completed different personalities. There was always some mystical, eerie thing about those girls and going to the Dillman's.

All for now. More later. Keep it coming!

[Shaun Paddock]

Awesome memories. For those who are keeping track, Aunt Ruth's last name was 'Kaelin', and her mother's last name was 'Dihlman'. Was Granny's last name 'Hickey'? I had no idea she was one of 8! I remember Aunt Alice and Uncle Arnold. Uncle Willy (William?) was a brother, as was Cyril. So now, we are down to needing 3. Haven't a clue. Lilian and Gloria were Aunt Ruth's sisters? I'm learning all kinds of new things. The only thing I remember about Lilian Claire (Clare?) was that she graduated from med school, and that was the end of her medical career. Guess she figured she couldn't compete with Dr. Pruitt, the one who diagnosed carbon monoxide poisoning as the flu, and improperly set my arm.

[Aunt Anna]

Looks like we are all learning. What fun! I thought Granny's last name was "Stewart": Mildred Bernard Paddock. So where did I get Stewart? Maybe it was Bernard. Anyway, that's the name I remember. The other uncles may come to me. Right now I'm mentally constipated on that subject. Gloria was quite a piece of work. She was the one who sold her finger nails. Christy remembered that bit of trivia. No they were not Aunt Ruth's sisters. I believe they were the daughters of old lady Dihlman. So they would have been cousins or aunts or something. At this point I'd have to diagram it out. And yes, Dr. Pruitt. Lost the end of his nose in a car accident. Plastic surgery has come a long way. He did manage to deliver all three of us. Quite the handyman ;-D

Uncle Otto was quite a guy. He actually used to scare me. I never felt comfortable around him. I remember that house on Baccich St. before it got remodeled after his death. There was that bar room in the back with all the German beer steins, etc. That was the "adult" cave. Kids were too welcomed back there.

Then there was the time Aunt Ruth invited us over for Easter dinner of lobster. They had black spots of them so she threw them all away and bought more. Dad had a fit. Go figure!

Charlie may have memories of this as well. We were playing at Aunt Ruth's one night: including Tom (your really tall friend). There was Bob Marks and Tommy (?). Anyway, we were shooting darts. Tommy thought he'd be funny when it was my turn and went and ducked in front of the target as he swore I'd never even come near it. Well, I did come near enough. The dart fell just short of the target and landed in his back. He stood up screaming with a dart sticking out of him back.

He also used to drink coffee with so much sugar in the cup (about 10 spoons) that it couldn't dissolve. There was always an inch of sugar sediment at the bottom on the cup.

And he was older than Charlie and took Charlie out to drink once. Charlie had just finished a beer when the police raided the place. Fortunately Charlie was only caught holding the bag (of potato chips). The beer can he had tossed. So he got taken off in the police are for being there but not charged with drinking. Good timing, wrong place. Tom and Bob got carted off in a van to jail. Tommy's mother burned all his clothes after she bailed him out.

Then there was the time that Charlie called in the middle of the night for Dad to come bail him out with 2 flat tires. He ran over a manhole cover. Right! Sure! He told me the true story. I'll let him do the same for you. But the story worked for Dad. Good grief!

Oh, I forgot, this is about Dad. Oh, well, put you in the spotlight tonight, bro ;-D

[Shaun Paddock]

If Cy Hickey was Granny's brother, I figure her last name was Hickey. And if Gloria Stewart was related to Aunt Ruth and Grandma Dihlman, she couldn't be related to Granny. I wouldn't stake my life on any of this, though. It's a hole that we may never fill.

Bob Marks and Tommy Casey. What a pair. I remember the darts thing, and the drinking thing. Actually (True Confessions), that was not our first visit to the Surf Lounge. After the incident, though, it was the last time!

Actually, the two flats did result from rolling over an open manhole or its cover. Dad came out, said, "Yup, those are flat!", and then went home. I walked to a nearby gas station, bought 2 used tires for about $5, had them mounted, and went home. I'm sure that Dad had a good chuckle over that one!

[Aunt Anna]

How confusing. No, I don't think Gloria and Lilian Claire had to do with the real family. But Cy. That does leave room for thought. There was also that deep-voiced woman who was the wife of (?). Her husband was the son of one of Granny's brothers. Was that Cy and Cy Jr.? Maybe more will come to me later.

Now as long as we are documenting as much as possible: how fast were you going when you hit that manhole cover? Just want to make sure we don't lose any family "his"story ;-D